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(no subject)
UH. I've hit the wall. Academic meltdown.
For the first time in my life I'm approaching exams I don't know if I can pass. And that's not a good feeling.
don't feel you have to read this. I just need to say it
I'll be honest, I know I'm smart. I'm normally a modest person but I'm fucking proud of what I've achieved. I got ten A* and an A (in art!) at GCSE and four A at AS and three A at Alevel. And that was an A in every single module. You can't get better than that.
I got into Cambridge - arguably the best university in the country and certainly one of the best in the world. Not only did I get in, but they usually only accept 7 or 8 on this course. In my year they fought to have ten of us. And I'm proud they wanted me that much.
I expected the first term to be the hardest. I knew the work would be hard and was prepared to deal with it. I knew I was going to move from being easily the best to mediocre intellectually. I knew I was coming from a comprehensive in the back end of nowhere and mixing with kids from Eton and Harrow. And yet none of it was a problem.
So there's the good stuff. I now have exams in two weeks. For the first time ever I'm faced with going into an exam without knowing everything. However hard I work it won't be enough. I can hope to know enough to pass, but that's it. I've never had to strive just to pass before.
It's kinda weird. Feels like I've lost my balance and there's suddenly nothing left to hold on to.
For the first time in my life I'm approaching exams I don't know if I can pass. And that's not a good feeling.
don't feel you have to read this. I just need to say it
I'll be honest, I know I'm smart. I'm normally a modest person but I'm fucking proud of what I've achieved. I got ten A* and an A (in art!) at GCSE and four A at AS and three A at Alevel. And that was an A in every single module. You can't get better than that.
I got into Cambridge - arguably the best university in the country and certainly one of the best in the world. Not only did I get in, but they usually only accept 7 or 8 on this course. In my year they fought to have ten of us. And I'm proud they wanted me that much.
I expected the first term to be the hardest. I knew the work would be hard and was prepared to deal with it. I knew I was going to move from being easily the best to mediocre intellectually. I knew I was coming from a comprehensive in the back end of nowhere and mixing with kids from Eton and Harrow. And yet none of it was a problem.
So there's the good stuff. I now have exams in two weeks. For the first time ever I'm faced with going into an exam without knowing everything. However hard I work it won't be enough. I can hope to know enough to pass, but that's it. I've never had to strive just to pass before.
It's kinda weird. Feels like I've lost my balance and there's suddenly nothing left to hold on to.
no subject
The situation you are describing is what i went through when i was in first year. In high school, i got straight A's, and had one of the highest graduating averages in my class. I was smart, and a knew it - not that i was egotistical about it, but that's just the way things were.
I got into the best school in the country - and promptly had a reality check. I no longer felt as smart. I no longer felt as though i knew everything. And i found that i actually had to work to get good grades, which is something i wasn't used to doing.
Don't worry though - university will get better. First year is always rough - especially for 'smart kids' who previously had it easy. You will adapt, and by the end of university, you will once again be comfortable and happy with your academic acheivements. :D
no subject
I guess at a personal level I expected to hit the wall sooner and so thought I would be okay when I got this far. Now it's more a personal fear. In the last hour or so I've sorted myself out and put it all in perspective. feeling a lot more positive. Thanks.