aleathiel | Fic: Dreams

Title: Dreams
Fandom: BBC's Merlin
Pairing: Merlin/Morgana (some Arthur/Morgana). Yes, you read that correctly. Normal service ~~Arthur~~ will shortly be resumed.
Rating: PG13
Summary: Morgana's dreams.

Contains the

tamingthemuse prompt "Dreamworld".

Morgana had always had dreams.

As a child she’d had dreams of being a princess, of beautiful jewels and gowns, of everyone loving her. She’d had dreams of fields of flowers and of castles with soaring towers like her mother told her about. When she’d been taken from their manor to Camelot when she was five her dreams had been more specific, more visual, and she’d dreamed of being a princess of Camelot.

(She’d had those funny dreams too – about flying and about riding deer and turning into a fish. But they weren’t the kind of dreams that counted, not really.)

As she’d grown older, and she’d realised what being a princess of Camelot would involve, she’d begun to dream about Arthur. For a few years after they first met she’d dreamed about him rescuing her, from monsters and dragons, evil sorcerers and burning buildings. Arthur, then, was a scrawny little boy with a fondness for walloping people with his blunted wooden sword: but Morgana had high hopes that he would grow into his role in her fantasies.

Then she began to realise that the world didn’t work like that. And her dreams changed. She fought her own way out of dungeons and lowered herself out of high, narrow, dragon-guarded towers. Because being a princess didn’t mean being useless.

Arthur still featured in some of these dreams. Sometimes he was her companion; often he just got in the way. And he always looked sufficiently awed and impressed when Morgana returned with the monster tamed or slain.

Then, when she reached puberty, Morgana began to have those dreams. Flashes so vivid that they seared into her mind and haunted her when she was awake. She’d mentioned them to her mother once, when yet again her dream had come true. But her mother had hushed her and told her not to speak of it and that she was being a silly girl.

So Morgana kept her dreams to herself.

Around the same time she began to have the other kind of dreams too. Sometimes they featured Arthur and sometimes it was other boys, some of the king’s knights or some of her father’s men. She dreamed of them touching her, like they touched grown women, but she didn’t know much of how that worked and the dreams were blurred and unfocussed. Once, after a visit to Camelot to watch a tournament in which the young prince excelled himself and won the title against men three times his age, Morgana had dreamed of Arthur turning to her – flushed and tousled as he’d been after fighting – and kissing her. She imagined the feel of his lips against hers, his body against hers, and briefly allowed herself to re-dream the idea of being his wife.

Her dreams did not foretell the fire.

For months after her parents’ deaths she had only nightmares. She woke screaming, night after night as flames consumed her sleep. Uther, who had tried to welcome her into his household, assigned her a maid to stay with her through the night. But the horrors did not subside and Morgana spent hours crying, clutching at Gwen. The king’s physician gave her syrups and cordials to drink to try and dull her fear and grief. Occasionally they worked.

Gradually, so slowly it was barely perceptible, she began to have other dreams again. Sometimes she would sleep peacefully three or four nights in a row before her nightmares struck.

And then those dreams began again. And they were difficult to distinguish from her nightmares, at first. Sharp, painful visions that she couldn’t ignore. And nothing Gaius gave her eased her sleep on those nights.

She dreamed of Arthur’s fall from a horse when he broke his leg and was in bed for days. She dreamed of the rebellion of Sir Garros and of Uther’s fury. She dreamed of a sorceress who would kill Arthur with a knife.

But then that didn’t come to pass.

A boy – she’d never seen him in her dreams – pulled Arthur from the path of the knife. His actions put him into Arthur’s service and into Morgana’s dreams.

At first he merely featured in her dreams as Arthur’s servant: the cause of, or part of the solution to, each of Arthur’s escapades. Then he became more prominent, and Morgana dreamed of Merlin by her side as she rode through the forest, and sometimes it was to Merlin that she spoke not to Arthur. And, like Arthur-in-her-dreams he always did her bidding.

Then, some months after she’d first seen him, she had one of those dreams about Merlin.

He was standing in a cave, bathed in a golden glow, protecting a fallen Arthur from shadows that encroached from all sides.

After that Morgana took care to watch Merlin: the way he stood, the way he spoke, the way he was different to Arthur’s other servants.

And Morgana knew, like she’d known that Arthur would fall in that hunt, that Merlin had magic. And she was frightened.

And then she dreamed of Merlin every night. Sometimes those dreams, emphasising what she already knew: that Merlin was essential to Camelot, that he was Arthur’s right arm and that he brimmed full of magic.

But she also had other dreams about Merlin.

Not the tentative, naïve dreams she’d had as a child, but sharp, vivid as her visions. She dreamed of Merlin in her bed, of his smile before he kissed her, of the work-roughened touch of his fingers. She dreamed of running her fingers through his messy hair, of the crinkles of laughter at the sides of his eyes, of the taste of his skin.

It was some while before she realised that she no longer dreamed of Arthur.

And now, sometimes, when Merlin smiles at her she has trouble distinguishing between her dreamworld and reality and she thinks that if she reached out to him he might turn and take her in his arms and sweep her off her feet.

Then she remembers that she doesn’t believe in feeble princesses and that if she wants something…

… maybe she should go out and get it for herself.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

draykonis.livejournal.com

oo I liked this. I liked it very much. Merlin and Morgana would look so pretty togther. and the way her dreams gradually changed was really good. She would be one to be an independant princess, wouldn't she

From:

sophielou21.livejournal.com

*claps*
That was very good. I'm adding this straight to my memories!

From:

angiepen.livejournal.com

I like how "those" dreams and those dreams intertwine, both just as important and disturbing and significant to the growing Morgana.

Angie

From:

abbyleaf101.livejournal.com

*giggles* Oh Morgana! Yes, my dear, go get it youself!

Nicley written!

From:

drjenny88.livejournal.com

I really like the way you wrote this, the gradual transition through Morgana's life and the stages of her dreams.

She fought her own way out of dungeons and lowered herself out of high, narrow, dragon-guarded towers. Because being a princess didn’t mean being useless.
YES! This is brilliant. Princesses looking after themselves, not just waiting for the prince/knight in shining armour to show up and rescue them - Morgana is definitely one of these sort of princesses. She can handle herself :)

Loved the way you introduced the Merlin/Morgana here, too. It really worked to have him appearing in her life before her dreams and then her gradual realisation that he's what she wants.

Really enjoyed this :D

From:

lackadaisydilly.livejournal.com

Aw, that was lovely! I really like how you've taken an element of the story that has, so far, only ever been hinted at and used it to explain how Morgana has become the woman she is. There's a real sense of character growth here and one that obviously can't be explored in the show.

Oooh, and thank you for partly sating my desire for Merlin/Morgana fic!