Begging for help

Are any of you willing to do a quick read-through of the first scene (about 5k) of my Marcus/Esca/Cottia fic?

I'm not looking for a thorough beta (it's not at that stage yet) but for someone familiar with the characters and setting to give me comments on why it isn't working yet.

Or for someone not in the Eagle fandom who is willing to just point out why I'm writing badly this week.

I can add you to the googledoc or email it in word, whatever works best.