Letting Go
Sep. 15th, 2003 10:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aleathielEveryone is leaving. I mean, my friends and I are all heading out to Uni for the first time in the next few weeks. The first of my close friends goes tomorrow and then there will be progressively fewer and fewer of us left until I too leave.
I am looking forward to Uni. I mean, new people, new place, independence and I know that my studies will be really interesting. So, yeah, it will be great. I love new things.
But sometimes I love old things too. I'm not leaving for three weeks, so it seemes a strange time to get all wistful. And it's not homesickness. It's more the fact that my friends are leaving now and even though we'll all see each other at Christmas and can call and text and talk online and everything, there's no point in pretending we will. Because I know we will go off and do our own things and we will all love it and not think of each other.
Therein lies the problem. It will never be the same. We've been such a tight knit group and we're gonna come apart. I know I'll stay friends with a few, closest friends. But the group atmosphere will change. Even now it's gone really. Relationships breaking up so that they can be single when they get to college - a lack of faith in their ability to stay together. And to some extent it's happening with friendships too. We've been getting more and more distant all summer. I've hardly seen some people.
Maybe I just have to remember it as good while we were happy and now I have to learn to let go.
I am looking forward to Uni. I mean, new people, new place, independence and I know that my studies will be really interesting. So, yeah, it will be great. I love new things.
But sometimes I love old things too. I'm not leaving for three weeks, so it seemes a strange time to get all wistful. And it's not homesickness. It's more the fact that my friends are leaving now and even though we'll all see each other at Christmas and can call and text and talk online and everything, there's no point in pretending we will. Because I know we will go off and do our own things and we will all love it and not think of each other.
Therein lies the problem. It will never be the same. We've been such a tight knit group and we're gonna come apart. I know I'll stay friends with a few, closest friends. But the group atmosphere will change. Even now it's gone really. Relationships breaking up so that they can be single when they get to college - a lack of faith in their ability to stay together. And to some extent it's happening with friendships too. We've been getting more and more distant all summer. I've hardly seen some people.
Maybe I just have to remember it as good while we were happy and now I have to learn to let go.
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Date: 2003-09-15 04:58 am (UTC)But sometimes this is a good thing. Yeah, it's hard at first to think of your world changing, but it's not going to be that you lose these friend and not gain others. You'll make friends who are just as close to you (if not closer) in college. And like you say - you'll stay in touch with the ones who really matter to you over the years, and those relationships will be all the more special because unlike the people you meet at college, those are the folks who remember you when you were young and uncool. (So to speak.)
Although I won't agree that you will stop thinking of the high school (or the British equivalent) buddies once you go to school. I think about high school friends a lot - particularly now that my 10 year high school reunion is approaching. I'm actually looking forward to it, to see where everyone is now.
Relationships breaking up so that they can be single when they get to college - a lack of faith in their ability to stay together.
Which, sadly enough, is true. You can look at it two ways: either those couples realize that they aren't meant for each other, and they want to end the relationship now instead of pretending it should go on further ... or they're being stupid and they'll figure out in another year or two that they can't live without each other and they'll get back together because they were MEANT TO BE and that's that. Neither of these is a bad thing.
Which is not to say you should break up with someone just for the hell of it. But I don't think it's so much a lack of faith in the relationship based on the upcoming long-distance. If that's the only reason that both parties in the relationship broke up with each other - they would be very miserable right now, and will continue to be so for a while. (Ensuring result number two mentioned above.)
It's that whole fate thing rearing it's ugly head again.
Maybe I just have to remember it as good while we were happy and now I have to learn to let go.
Yup. And - you're a writer, I shouldn't have to add this - observe, observe, observe.
no subject
Date: 2003-09-15 05:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-15 08:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-15 11:23 am (UTC)